Christie (starieskie) wrote,

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

That is all.

If there is something to be said, it is simply - I am done. And thus, I have zero energy to share my thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. to the internet world that probably forgot I exist. Two points to you, if you're still here.

Let's also say that 2016 has been both a good and bad year. Unfortunately, the bad has been pretty heavy handed.

- Gram died
- Mama died
- Oma died
- Uncle Dickie died

Literally... some of my above family passed within two months of each other. I think we've hit our quota.

Oh, and President-Elect Donald Trump. I-cannot-even-with-that-shit...

- We are pregnant and due January 29, 2017

I say "we" so sweetly, but honestly - it's a "me" show. Assuming we are fortunate and have no complications, baby comes out a-okay, and so-on, then I am d.o.n.e. making people. Making a person is ridiculous. Women do not get enough credit. Whether you like being pregnant or not, it's work; every minute of every day work. I forgot how much I hated not having a say in my life. I forgot how much fear and anxiety I had, that if I did one thing wrong, like eat dairy that's been sitting out too long, I could lose the baby. I forgot that every decision I made came with a true consequence. Yes, I know, technically I have that responsibility every day, even if I don't have a baby taking all my nutrients and air and blood. But it's different, and it is that difference that drives me absolutely insane. There are days where I can move along in my life without second guessing anything. Then there are days where getting in the car brings a new level of fear because what if, and tada - the tone has been set for all-the-things until I fall apart on the couch because the thought of cooking dinner is too much. I'm a peach. You should come visit. Whatever my feelings, the pregnancy has actually been fine. Nothing weird or abnormal, just a run of the mill kind of pregnancy, which makes it almost that much harder to complain. Obviously, that isn't stopping me, but I feel really guilty about it. Two points for me.

So that's it. Death and life, horrible politics, and a gigantic one-pound Snickers bar because.

the end.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.